Jackass: The Movie

Starring Johnny Knoxville, Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, Brandon DiCamillo, Ryan Dunn, Dave England with Tony Hawk, Rip Taylor and Henry Rollins
Screenplay by Johnny Knoxville
Based on the MTV series
Directed by Jeff Tremaine
website: www.jackassthemovie.com

We love movies like Jackass: The Movie because they afford us the opportunity to diss a dumb teevee series and piss off every teen, GenX'er and/or twentysomething in our audience OR to say how much we, twice-up on those twentysomethings, liked watching movies like Jackass thereby pissing off that same grouping, 'cuz old farts aren't supposed to like stuff like Jackass. Sometimes, though, liking movies like Jackass kicks up the "Cranky is Cool" Rating a couple of notches with that same demo, which is fine by us.

See? We win either way. So before we get to what we thought about Jackass: The Movie, let up; point out visually that if you amateurs try what stunt pro Johnny Knoxville and cohorts do in J:TM, you could end up like this . . .

prot cranky

. . . for a couple of years. No, we weren't doing a stunt but, yeah, it hurt like hell. Especially 'cuz the docs don't use anesthesia when they screw that sucker into your face, unless of course you're lucky to be getting that Halo after ten hours of surgery. On to Jackass . . .

IN SHORT: Perhaps the grossest movie ever made. Funny, though. [Rated R for dangerous, sometimes extremely crude stunts, language and nudity. 90 minutes]

For those of us old enough to remember when shouting "Gimme an F" was enough to put mom into conniptions comes the big screen video -- that's all it is folks, all the stuff MTV wouldn't run plus newer, more disgusting gags (in both senses of the word) -- of Jackass, Johnny Knoxville & Co.'s teevee real-life 'toon. Only this time out, JN&Co. get to set off fireworks in a sleeping parent's bedroom. Or sick an alligator on mom. And that doesn't even begin to get to what these idjits try to do to themselves.

Jackass: The Movie is, basically, ninety minutes of grown men trying to hurt themselves. Or watch each other try to hurt themselves, laughing when they do. Or catch the stupefied looks of the passing, unaware crowd a la Candid Camera with nudity, vomit and heaping helpings of Numbers One and Two.

But is it funny? Honestly? Somewhere in the ninety minute run Knoxville or one of his buds (Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, Brandon DiCamillo, Ryan Dunn, Dave England) is going to come up with something that will strike your funny bone, whether it be the bottle rocket in the bunghole, or the testicle seeking bowling ball, or the electro-shock pads to the nuts (do ya see a pattern here?) or, and this one had us curled up in our seat, wasabi snooters.

Don't ask us to describe it or any of the other insane stunts these bozos pull off because, if we did you, wouldn't believe the description because it would sound too stupid. We will state for the record, that we did observe what must be an Educational Fact that testicles are kinda sorta like masochistic EverReady Batteries. They take a licking -- that's slang for beating as in pounding, pummeling, smashing, kicking, and so forth -- and keep coming back for more.

OK, maybe that isn't like EverReady but these idjits do keep coming back.

Yes, we laughed at Jackass: The Movie. Yes, our jaw hung low for a good deal of Jackass: The Movie. Yes, we agreed with the girl behind us who, from time to time, blurted out "That's Disgusting!" No, we didn't need proof that one of these idjits dumped in his drawers.

Actually, that's a running theme of Jackass: The Movie. Let's see what we can get to come out of the various holes of the body. There's plenty of them Numbers referenced above. There's enough vomit in reactive salutation. How JN&C missed out on snot is beyond us, but they did. Points off for that faux pas. Points on for gratuitous cameos by "I'm-desperately-missing-The-Match-Game" Rip Taylor, musician Henry Rollins and skateboard master Tony Hawk

Most important, this film is rated R for a reason. The language is not appropriate for kidlets and we wouldn't let ours in to see it until at least fifteen or sixteen. But if they've chowed down on MTV's run or reruns, you're gonna have a helluva argument comin' your way. Your counter argument: lots of bare butts and barely concealed penii (sic) <g>

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Jackass: The Movie, he would have paid . . .

$5.00

actually, we got in free and it was worth every penny. Five bucks is our dateflick (shudder) level. If you're a fan of the show, you'll love Jackass: The Movie. If you've never seen the show and have kissed thirty goodbye, rent.

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