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IN SHORT: Doesn't anyone remember the headless horseman? Wouldn't that be appropriate considering what happend at the end of the last movie? [Rated R for strong violence, language, some sexuality and brief drug use. minutes] Halloween Resurrection was not screened for critics until the morning of release. That should tell you all you need to know, but if you need to know more: Not only is Jamie Lee Curtis back, so is director Rick Rosenthal, who helmed Halloween II. For those of you who'e lost count, this is number Eight. For those who would rather not remember, Michael Myers lost his head due to an unfortunate run in with an axe blade at the end of Halloween: H20. But who says you can't go home again??? You don't need a head. Just a sharp knife and a good sense of direction. And off we go again . . . . . . because Michael Myers ain't dead. Somehow, his sister Laurie Strode (Curtis) knew that all along and, even though she's locked up in the nuthouse, she's not surprised when the man in the white spray painted Captain Kirk Halloween mask comes a callin'. This time out half a dozen idjits camp out in serial killer Michael Myers' untouched-after-40-years childhood home. From there they intend to host an Internet chat, retelling all the spooky scary stuff associated with Myers, while one mole in their group attempts to scare 'em all silly. . To get them all out of the way, they are: Nora Winston (Tyra Banks), Sara Moyer (Bianca Kajlich), Jim Morgan (Luke Kirby), Michael "The Shape" Myers (Brad Loree), Donna Chang (Daisy McCrackin), Myles (Ryan Merriman), Bill Woodlake (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Freddie Harris (Busta Rhymes), Jen Danzig (Katee Sackhoff), Rudy Grimes (Sean Patrick Thomas) and Noah Wyle. Myers doesn't like strangers in the house, for reasons revealed in this last gasp effort to keep the franchise alive. Frankly, even given our dislike for the genre, Halloween Resurrection does about all it can to breathe life into a dead horse. At least two murders turned our stomach and there are enough stupid kidlets to ratchet up the body count. We briefly thought we were going to be surprised by a genre that has been done to death but the second half of the film puts the nail into that idea. H:R devolves into an utterly confusing mess. Not scary enough for those of us who don't want gore. Not gory enough for those who want that stuff. On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Halloween Resurrection, he would have paid . . . $2.00Let's be honest folks. Enough is enough. Halloween: Resurrection
is only for those who must see it in the theater.
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