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  the cranky critic (R)  is a registered trademark of chuck schwartz
Reviews since 1994: 
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CRANKY SEZ:  We've got to be down for a bit. We can't manage even one film a day in a four day, four movies released week. Disabilities suck.

Those that have followed this site for the last year or so have been privy to my descriptions of how the disabilities in my leg came about [from a neck broken three times roughly twenty-five years ago.]   My right leg is now disabled enough that normal walking can no longer be taken for granted. That plus the unfortunate fact that we can't sit for two hours a day, four days a week kind of gets in the way of doing this job. Once we deal with this, we'll be back.

The Cranky Critic®, since 1993. Watch for grand reopening (ha!) and a higher than usual number of downloadables.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Ant-Man remains this week's big gun, adding $24.8 millions to a new gross box office take of $106.1 millions of dollars; newbie Pixels ($24.0 millions) takes Second with Minions ($22.1 millions/ $261.6 millions) and Trainwreck ($17.3 millions/ $61.5 millions) each dropping one position - Second to Third and Third to Fourth. Newbie Southpaw ($16.5 millions) takes FIfth. THE REST OF THE BEST: Newbie Paper Towns enters at Sixth with a $12.5 millions take; Inside Out ($7.3 millions/ $320.3 millions) drops Fourth to Seventh and Jurassic World ($6.9 millions/ $623.8 millions) drops Fifth to Eighth. Ian McKellan as Mr. Holmes ($2.8 millions/ $6.4 millions) rises Eleventh to Ninth and we bid adieu to Terminator: Genisys ($2.4 millions/ $85.7 millions) dropping from Sixth to Tenth

-------------------- New Releases --------------------
ant-man

Ant-Man stars Paul Rudd and if you've got a young family this Marvel movie is for you. There are enough movies(s) here to us (meaning yours Cranky) pause but we're old and single. Cranky's movie review. Grown up daters should go to the film on the right --->

wallpaper downloads here

trainwreck

Trainwreck stars television name Amy Schumer. Missing this film because of ongoing physical crap was pretty much where I have to my foot down... on myself. I can't physically do this job anymore to the extent that it needs to be done right to do right by what readers are left.

Mr. Holmes

Mr. Holmes stars Ian McKellan (ltd) as an aging Sherlock Holmes -- the film is set in 1947 and Holmes is just getting back to England from some time spent in Japan (press notes) -- finally to face the prospect of dying. We weren't offered a screening. We certainly wouldn't have passed on seeing it . . .

The Stanford Prison Experiment

The Stanford Prison Experiment (ltd) stars Billy Crudup as a University professor who recast 24 students as guards and prisoners in a jail cell environment back in 1971. This, say the notes, was a big deal and big press back in that day. We don't remember anything about it. [We were too busy trying to get into/ surviving college back then so it isn't a surprise that we don't know this story. No diss] Offered and we passed,

irrational man

Woody Allen's Irrational Man (NY/LA) stars Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone and Parker Posey and some names I don't know. That Allen's name is on it -- a film about a big name professor at a small name college and who he gets involved with -- is enough. We were invited. We had to cancel due to yeah, you know.

Terminator Genesys

Terminator Genisys sneaked twice for public consumption but not for most online reviewers. . . which in this case is a good thing. The advance reviews (25% on RT) scream Bomb with a capital "B". It doesn't matter. The film will do well this weekend and then it will die.

Magic Mike XXL

Magic Mike XXL, on the other hand, doesn't have to be much more in the other direction . . . meaning buff dudes strip. Cranky's a straight dude who was put to sleep by the first edition. We passed on this one.

amy

Amy, a documentary on the life of singer Amy Winehouse scored a remarkable100% Fresh over at Rotten Tomatoes. That means the fans of Ms. Winehouse loved the thing. Whether it is of any interest to those who are ignorant of her music is an open question.

jurassic world

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Inside Out

Inside Out is Pixar genius. If we could get the heck out of our apartment we would have seen it by now. Disabilities suck.

ted 2

ted 2 stars Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane (as the former's bestest friend and still a stuffed animal bear)

max

Max recreates the true story of a dog that helped US Marines in Afghanistan. and said pooch's ptsd experience.

a little chaos

A Little Chaos from writer/ director Alan Rickman recreates a love story set in the court of King Louis XIV palace at Versailles. No, it's not about the king. Yes, the Rotten Tomatoes rating is pretty high.

dope

Dope is a comedy featuing African American performers.. Cranky's just an old white guy. We couldn't understand a word of dialog in the trailer for this thing but it's done huge box office so, whatever.

Love and Mercy

Love and Mercy, based on the life story of Brian Wilson (played by John Cusack with Paul Dano as the younger Wilson) contrasts the making of the Beach Boy's legendary Pet Sounds album with Wilson's psychiatric implosion in the 1980s. The film destroyed at the Sundance Film Festival so we waited for the New York screenings which never materialized. Either that or we don't make the cut anymore, which is fine since we can't walk and would have missed any screening.

Spy

Jude Law, Melissa McCarthy and Jason Statham star in Spy (and so does Rose Byrne) which doesn't have to do much to trounce McCarthy's last outing (in the bomb Tammy).

  san andreas

Dwayne Johnson stars in San Andreas Big Earthquake. Big Stars. California falls into the sea but it's all effects on a weak plot (Heck, California falls into the sea. Who needs a plot?)

 

aloha

Aloha from genius creator Cameron Crowe is a major misfire. We could tell from the limp humor that tries to pass in the TV spot. That, and we asked around

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Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

Inside Out
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Frozen: Fever
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Godzilla

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Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
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Rio 2

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----------------------------------------- DVDs FOR SALE -----------------------------------------

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---------------------------------- BLU-RAY DISCS FOR SALE ----------------------------------
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